Long time no write banget nih gue. Hahaha. Forgive me yea i was so busy with my exams and school stuffs.
Anyway, the reason gue nulis disini lagi adalah... Someone popped into my head. Tiba-tiba. And i decided to go here and write down my feelings. So.... Here it goes. Enjoy.
I was doing my thing and then i took a glimpse at my phone and suddenly i picked it up. I stared at it for like 2 minutes and then suddenly i thought of you.
and then i put my phone back.
i turned my laptop on. Logged on to my twitter account. And then suddenly i felt something strange on my stomach. No, it's not the butterflies. They're gone. It's something that made me feel not so good.
I typed "A" on the search bar, and... there it was. Your name.
I clicked it. And there it was again, your profile.
And suddenly, i miss you. No, i miss us
Oh, yea, i forgot, there was never an "us" between you and i, right?
It was a stop-by. I was a stop-by for you.
I meant nothing for you.
I miss you.
I miss your texts, our late night conversations, our silly jokes.
I miss you and the way you talk to me.
The way you tell me about your dreams.
About your favorite football club.
I miss it. All of it.
It's cheesy, i know.
Why do i feel this way about you?
Why do i felt so sad when we stopped talking?
Why do i broke down when i knew that there won't be any messages from you again?
Strange, isn't it?
Strange how a short-period friendship could affect me so much.
I want it all back.
I want you to apologize to me whenever you make me mad or upset, again.
I want you to take me to the cinema and watch a random movie together, again.
I want you to pick me up from school, again.
I want you to come by my house and tell me how was your day going on, again.
I want you to make me smile, again.
I want you to smile for me, again.
Can we just go back and rewind?
Have a fresh start.
A new beginning.
A new each other introduction.
Yes, i know it is impossible.
I need you.
I need you to be my guide.
I need someone who could make me stronger every single day.
I need someone to lead this path.
Yes, i'm aware that it is impossible to.
But, is it wrong to have a dream?
Even you know that it will never ever come true?
No, it's not wrong to have a dream or to hope.
Because when you are brave enough to get you hopes up so high and dream big, that's when you live.
Yes, of course there's going to be a heartache and a break down, but, you will get through it. Not so fast, but, eventually.
Are memories sweet of painful?
Slowly, i'm beginning to understand, wherever you are, memories of you are always going to stay with me.
And i can't runaway from them nor can anybody take them away.